Answers.com创意征文大赛

辞典类网站Answers.com为了推广自己，搞了一个创意征文大赛。

要求如下：

* 文章必须有创意。
* 不超过750字。
* 文中必须正确使用下面10个单词。
* fifth-column
* gazpacho
* agog
* horripilation
* simian
* fug
* opus
* salad days
* abscond
* Kew Gardens

昨天，获奖名单公布了。下面就是获得第一名的作品。

====================

The Shrieking of the Monkeys

猴子的尖叫

作者：John Andreini

译者：阮一峰

Savannah. August. A midsummer fug envelops the usual early afternoon crowd of reprobates taking up space in the Shark Tooth Bar. The air is stale, unhealthy. I'm here recovering from a two-day salted nut roll binge, the sugar still coursing through my veins, sitting alone at my usual table. Actually, this is my office. My name is Brock Holberman, private investigator.

地点，佐治亚州的Savannah。时间，八月。像往常一样，午后的Shark Tooth酒吧中空气混浊，挤满了顾客。到处都充满了一种不健康的难闻的气味。我还在恢复中，过去二天中，我参加了令人精疲力竭的美食节狂欢，糖水至今还在血管中流淌。我独自一人，坐在平时的座位上。实际上，这里就是我的办公室。我的名字是Brock Holberman，我是一个私人侦探。

A beautiful but nervous doll nearby keeps glancing my way. She has trouble written all over her, and a number of other odd tattoos, but I ignore her, stirring my gazpacho.

一个美女总在一旁注视我，她看上去很紧张。她一定是遇到了麻烦，她身上还有一些奇特的纹身。不过，我对她没兴趣，只管搅拌自己的西班牙浓汤。

Then the raven-haired tomato sashays over to my table like she's walking down a fashion show runway.

过了一会，这位黑发美女缓步向我的桌子走来，好像模特走下T型台一样。

"What's the matter? Don't you like gazpacho?" she asks.

"怎么啦？难道你不喜欢西班牙浓汤？"她问道。

"I'm waiting for it to cool."

"我在等它变凉。"

She leans down. I smell lavender and tuna salad. "It's supposed to be cold," she whispers.

她靠近我。我闻到了薰衣草和金枪鱼色拉的味道。"它应该本来就是凉的，"她轻声说。

"Do we know each other?"

"你认识我？"

"I know you by reputation, Mr. Holberman. The Opus murders?"

"我知道您的大名，Holberman先生。你侦破过许多疑难案件？"

"I got lucky. The tenor sang."

"我只是运气好。就像歌剧里唱的。"

"But you were the star of the show." She sits sans invitation. "Claire Robin. I have a case, if you have the time."

"但是，您是这出歌剧里的明星。"她径自坐了下来。"我的名字是Claire Robin，我有一个案子，您有没有时间？"

I knock my cup of coffee into my lap and stifle a scream. "A...case. I'm listening."

我拿起咖啡杯，喝了一口，用来掩盖我的惊讶。"一个......案子。您说吧。"

"My late husband William Robin was the Duke of Hemmels-on-Taddemshire. We were living in Britain two years ago when he was brutally murdered at Kew Gardens by a man known only as The Simian."

"我的前夫William Robin是Hemmels-on-Taddemshire公爵。我们住在英国。二年前，他在皇家植物园被残忍地杀害了，只知道凶手的绰号是'猿人'。"

"The Simian."I helped put that big ape in the Big House.

"猿人。"我的脑海中情不自禁地浮现出，一只大猩猩在一幢大房子里出没的情景。

"He's out and he's here in Savannah. I need you to get the goods on him." She scribbles on a piece of paper. "He's living in a trailer down by the river. Here's the address."

"他逃走了，现在就在Savannah。我需要你去找到他的罪证。"她在一张纸上快速写着。"他住在下游的一辆拖车里。这是他的地址。"

I suddenly have a bad case of horripilation. Was I being set up?

我突然感到一阵不安。我会不会中计了？

"Is this on the level?" I ask.

"这是真的吗？"我问道。

"What do you think?"

"你觉得呢？"

"I think recycling is a good idea."

"我觉得废物利用是个好主意。"

She slips me an envelope and stands. "Your retainer. Finish your gazpacho before it gets warm."

她塞给我一个信封，站了起来。"你的佣金。快喝你的西班牙浓汤吧，否则它就要变热了。"

I thumb through the contents of the envelope: five hundred bucks and two tickets to Sesame Street on Ice. Not bad.

我看了一下信封，里面有500美元和二张芝麻街冰上舞蹈的门票。不错。

I find The Simian's trailer and it reminds me of my own salad days living out of an Airstream making money hand over fist as a freelance sheepherder.

我找到了猿人的拖车。它让我想起了那些逍遥自在的日子，与世无争，过着牧羊人的生活。

It doesn't take long for The Simian to make an appearance. He slips out of his trailer at 10:05 a.m. wearing a banana suit. Strange, I think. Why 10:05? I follow my bright yellow suspect to the city zoo where he spends the next hour taunting the spider monkeys. That pervert's going down, I promise myself.

没过多久，猿人就现身了。早上10：05，他走出拖车，穿了一套香蕉装。我觉得很奇怪，为什么是10：05呢？我跟着这位黄色嫌疑人，一直来到了城里的动物园，接下来的一个小时，他就在那里耍蜘蛛猴玩。我对自己说，这个不正常的家伙不会离开的。

I head back to his trailer for a little snoop work. The place is a mess and smells of wet fur. Books are strewn about. One catches my eye. The Fifth Column: And Four Stories of the Spanish Civil War by Ernest Hemmingway. Funny. "Hemmingway" doesn't sound like a Spanish name.

我返回他的拖车，做了一些侦查工作。那个地方一团糟，有一股潮湿毛皮的气味。书籍被扔得到处都是。有一本吸引了我的注意力。《第五纵队：以及其他关于西班牙内战的四个故事》，作者海明威。有趣。"海明威"听上去可不像西班牙名字。

Then I hit pay dirt. In an envelope taped under a table, I find photos of The Simian, dressed in his banana suit, holding hands with Lady Robin, who's wearing a Mr. Peanut costume. Then it all falls into place.

然后，我就找到宝贝了。桌子下面捆着一个信封。里面有猿人的照片，他穿着香蕉装，握着Robin夫人的手，后者穿着一套花生装。于是，一切都水落石出了。

I abscond with the photos and head back to the Shark Tooth. Fortunately, Claire is at the bar enjoying a glass of Ovaltine. After ordering my regular, I pounce.

我带着照片偷偷离开，重新返回Shark Tooth酒吧。很凑巧，Robin夫人正在那里品尝甜牛奶。我要了一份自己的饮料，突然问道。

"Mrs. Robin. Or should I say, Mrs. Peanut?"

"Robin夫人，我是不是该叫你花生夫人？"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"我不明白你在说什么。"

I slam the photos down on the bar. "That's what I'm talking about." The bartender is agog at the images, but I quickly get rid of him with an order for Yak milk. "You didn't think I'd find out about your...appetites."

我将照片摔到吧台上。"这就是我在说的东西。"酒保凑过来想看照片，我赶紧点了牦牛奶，将他打发走。"你没有想到吧，我会找到你的......爱好。"

Claire squirmed. "So I like to dress up like a peanut. That doesn't prove anything."

Robin夫人局促不安。"就算我喜欢打扮成花生的样子。这什么也证明不了。"

I hold up a piece of paper. "Ah, but this does. It's a letter written and mailed by your husband only hours before his death. It names names"

我举起一张纸。"啊，但是这个可以证明。这是你丈夫写的一封信，在他死前几个小时寄出。里面提到了人的名字。"

Several of Savannah's finest enter and join us at the bar. The ice woman finally cracks.

几个Savannah的警察走了进来，和我们一起坐到吧台边。这个冰冷的女人终于崩溃了。

"That lousy.... He was going to expose us. Humiliate us in front of the entire world. All I wanted to do was hear the monkeys shriek."

"那个卑鄙的家伙......他想揭露我们。在整个世界面前羞辱我们。我所想做的只不过是要听猴子的尖叫。"

"And once banana boy was out of the picture, keep all the inheritance for yourself." The cops cuff her. "Now you're going to find out what it's like on the other side of the bars, Peanut Butter. Take her away. My gazpacho's getting cold."

"只要把那个香蕉人除掉，你就可以安享所有的遗产了。"警察拷住了她。"现在你可以尝尝铁窗的滋味了，花生小姐。快把她带走，我要喝西班牙浓汤了。"

[参考链接]

* 作者John Andreini访谈
* 其他获奖作品

（完）